I hate the seaside. It smells of fish and there are seagulls that nick your food. It’s not fair, I didn’t want to go to Koob but Kind Bear dragged me down saying that she wanted me to go. Then he spent the whole time with Sonny, Harry and Netty while I got stuck with the pesky seagulls. All they did was moan moan moan moan moan and they kept squawking me “me me me me”. Selfish feathered pests.
Then they tried to make me eat sausage and mash. I hate sausage and mash – the mash is always lumpy! Yuck!
What a dreadful holiday. I would have preferred to stay at home.
– Moaning Bear (firstname.lastname@example.org)